Well, I did it. I’m still high off of the adrenaline. I’ll probably change my mind and delete them tomorrow, but I posted the pictures.
I know that posting self-nudes isn’t the brightest thing that I’ve ever done. I’m not an idiot. Still, I don’t see how bad it could really be. I cropped my face out of the picture, so no one is going to recognize me. I don’t even think that many people will even see the pictures; it’s not like I’m the only girl who has ever done this. There’s literally billions of nudes floating around out there, mine aren’t that special.
They’ll probably go unnoticed by almost everyone, which is kind of sad. I’m still getting off on it, though. The idea that right now someone who I’ll probably never meet in real life is staring at my tits and jerking off – I don’t know why, but I just think that’s insanely hot.
So, that was unexpected. I kind of thought that I might get one or two comments. I secretly hoped that I might get up to ten. I actually woke up to seventy-three, and more are still coming in. I had no idea that I’d get so much attention. Honestly, the pictures I posted weren’t even that great.
Most of the messages are pretty forgettable; guys telling me that they like my body but not being too specific or vulgar. A handful of them are pretty creative and funny. Some of them are downright filthy; involving what the guy would do to me. I know I should probably take issue with how disrespectful and vulgar they are, but they’re really just fucking hot.
Of course, there are a handful of trolls, too. They’re just nasty and insulting. One guy told me that I was so far beneath his standards that he’d have to get blackout drunk first and put a bag over my head, and only then would he let his dog fuck me. I don’t mind, though. I know that if I get attention, some of it’s going to be negative. They’re only saying what they’re saying to try to offend me, anyway.
Reading what people would do to me got me so hot that I fucked myself. The weird part was what I was thinking about when I did it. I tried to think about the comments from people who told me what they’d do to me, but my mind kept drifting to the trolls. It wasn’t a turnoff, though. I think that I actually liked thinking about the nasty things that they said, and I really don’t know why.
I’m going to post more pictures tonight. Still keeping my face out of them, but I want to see if this was just a fluke. Plus, I mean, everyone’s begging me to post more anyway.
So it wasn’t a fluke. I’m suddenly extremely popular, which is weird. I still don’t really get it – there are plenty of other girls who are hotter than me that post more revealing pictures, but people seem to really like mine. Still, I’m not complaining. I’m actually really getting off on the attention.
They keep asking me to post my face. I’m actually really, really tempted to, but I won’t. I want to, but I can’t risk having these pictures come back and bite me on the ass. If my parents knew I was posting nudes to the Internet, things would get very bad, very quickly.
I think I’m becoming addicted to the attention. It’s not just the positive attention, though – I’m actually really bored with being told that I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. I’m liking the vulgar stuff way too much. I’m not going to say anything about it publicly, but when a guy sends me a message calling me a stupid whore and telling me how he’d rape the shit out of me, I really get off on it.
I’m fucking myself entirely too much. It might be a problem. It’s cutting into my free time and all.
Kind of freaking the fuck out. Very bad day today. I feel like an idiot. Not your smartest move, Taylor.
So apparently I wasn’t as clever as I thought I was. My face was never visible, but the inside of my closet was. I hadn’t thought anything about it at the time, but apparently that was enough.
Andrew noticed. At the end of biology class he walked up to me and handed me some of my pictures that he had printed out. I tried to play dumb and act like I had no idea what they were, but he pointed out that he’s seen me wearing every single pair of shoes in that closet. I stuck with the lie of course; pretending that it was just a coincidence and I was grossed out that he’d show me pictures like that, but I don’t think he believes it. He told me that he’s glad it isn’t me – this way I won’t mind if he sends the pictures to my parents.
I don’t think for a second that my parents wouldn’t recognize me if they saw the pictures. Even if they didn’t recognize my body, I’m sure they’d recognize my room. Explaining to them that it’s just some girl who has the exact same body as me in a room that looks exactly like mine with a closet full of my clothes might be stretching it.
He told me not to worry, that he wasn’t going to send those pictures to my parents – yet. He said that he needed to think things over, but he’ll let me know his plans on Monday. I’m not looking forward to that, but I think I hate waiting even more. I’m going to spend the entire weekend freaking out over what’s going to happen now.
Things have always been a little weird between me and Andrew. He apparently had a crush on me during freshman year, which I didn’t find out about until two years later. I think he resents that I was so oblivious to how he felt about me and still holds a grudge over that. He’s never been openly hostile towards me or anything, but he’s always made me feel like I wasn’t exactly his favorite person in the world. I’m a little worried that he’s going to punish me for not loving him back during freshman year, though I don’t know for sure if he even still remembers that.
One thing is for sure, though: I won’t be posting any more. I should probably delete what I’ve already posted, but I’m not naïve enough to think that you can really delete anything from the Internet. I’m sure Andrew’s already made copies anyway; all I’d be doing by deleting now is confirming that it really is me. I don’t think he really needs the confirmation or anything, but I’d rather not risk it.
I talked to Andrew after biology today. I was super nervous, but I knew that I couldn’t just ignore it and hope that it would go away. Well I guess I could have, but I don’t think that would have fixed anything. After spending the entire weekend freaking out, I didn’t really want to prolong that any more.
I tried to pretend that it really wasn’t me in the pictures again, but I couldn’t fool him. I don’t even know how he knew with such confidence, but he clearly did. Either way, he promised me that if I don’t come clean with him right there and admit that I’m the girl in the pictures he’d send my parents copies and let them decide for themselves. He didn’t seem like he was bluffing, so I admitted it. I’m not happy about that, but it’s not like I wasn’t telling him anything that he didn’t already know.
The good news is that he didn’t want too much. I was a little afraid that he’d try to blackmail me for money or force me to have sex with him or something, but he didn’t. He said that he wants me to continue posting (even mentioned that he was disappointed I didn’t post anything over the weekend), and as long as I do he’ll keep things quiet.
I should probably be fucking ecstatic about that. Basically his blackmail amounts to
do exactly what you would have done if I wasn’t blackmailing you. I’m still a little nervous, though. I suspect he might try to push for more at some point down the road. Also, it’s a little weird knowing that someone I actually know in real life has seen my pictures.
The really fucked up thing, though, is a part of me actually thinks this is kind of hot. Even though I’d probably be doing it anyway, when I post nudes now I’m going to be thinking about how I’m doing it because I’m being forced to. I know that should concern me, but it really turns me on. I probably shouldn’t think about this too much.